I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
