you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
