69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
