guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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