K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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