C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
