Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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