I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
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I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
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His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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