i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize