thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
