Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
