this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
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All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
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I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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