how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
