I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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