i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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