I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
