Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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