Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
