Ambien. No doubt about it.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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