shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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