you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
