Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
im six kinds of drunk right now
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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