when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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