Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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