Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
