So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
