There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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