My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch