I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize