how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Found your dick twin last night
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I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
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It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine