A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar