TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.