My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
