I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
