We're like a lot better than the average bears
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
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He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
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And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
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