Christians are straight up FREAKS
false alarm. still invincible.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
