I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
