Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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