I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize