This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
