i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
