in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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