I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Randomize
