don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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