Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize