I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize