If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
