btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
