your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
