It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
