Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
