operation harelip BJ is a go
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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