I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize