I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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