i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
