Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
