Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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