I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize