She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
