he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
