it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
