Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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