how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
wow bdsm is so cute
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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