My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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