He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
