brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
