I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
