if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Randomize
