Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
