No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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