no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
