whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
