Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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