No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
vagina is talking i cant
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
did i just pee glitter
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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